this is a secret…

Posted by Jaren
Posted on March 16, 2008
Filed Under Ramblings |

Secrets… All of us have a fair share of secrets.. What sucks about it is that the more you desperately try to hide it… the more urge you want to spit it out…

This post will have repercussions on me may it be good or bad… but in order to function properly I have to spit it out. This is a way of “clearing my cache” or even “defragmenting my brain”

It sucks… and now… Here it is

I’m on rehab (a working “blog” rehab), due to my pasts fuck-ups I was totally distracted from my work ( actually it was all my fault as I can’t concentrate from work… and due to the fact that I have an adrenaline rush and an insane feeling that I can get away with anything). and right now, I’m downing 2-3 bottles of Gin every night I even smoke a lot (about 2-3 packs of Marlboro a day) and yes I haven’t slept for 3 weeks (and if I do sleep it’s only for 2 hours)….

And this what tops it all
I’m in-love with a girl (but I’m not sure where it’s headed) but I love her… I’m playing the WAITING GAME… as I don’t know what to do but wait…waiting for my time…waiting for the right time to call her mine… my “girl” - my RX Queen…

I miss our times together of long walks and coffee madness… an escape from reality…of being close to her, being with her… memories of insane calls, YM chats, espresso brownies, of java chips from starbucks, of that kick-ass girl that drove me insane… I got it bad… I want her bad

I want you…All tattooed…I want you bad…Complete me…Mistreat me…Want you to be bad
If you could only read my mind…You would know that I’ve been waiting…So long…For someone almost like you
But with attitude, I’m waiting so come on — the Offspring - I want you bad

I’m Full of shit….

I hate my life (I wish I would just die)

–“to amuse and confuse”–
–“I can be your “poison” and I can be the “cure”–
–”I’m the Master Lurker…the Ultimate BackPacker…I’m the Blog Ninja”–
–”Working is good for my health”–
–”I love my job”–

So What’s Your SECRET? Mind sharing it with me?

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Comments

7 Responses to “this is a secret…”

Janis on March 18th, 2008 2:50 pm

sigh.

Janis’s last blog post..QoTD: Take My Advice

[Reply]
Jaren on March 18th, 2008 3:09 pm

dammit… I wish I have time to go out for another round of coffee madness…

but with my workload… I’ll be free by the end of the month…

suckfest…

[Reply]
tintin on March 19th, 2008 3:15 pm

I had the same feeling when I think of my close friend. I miss our time together, laughing, chatting all day, our non-stop phone calls, sharing of ringtones…the best time i’m with with him is when we are together at the Coffee bean; it was unexpected but we both feel happy that day. I know in my heart….the way he look at me…that’s one of the happiest day of my life….only time can tell whether we are meant for each other.

arigato gusaimasu! =)

[Reply]
Dexter | Techathand.net on March 20th, 2008 12:48 am

Cool brother.. Stop and drink a cold pepsi
Dexter | Techathand.net’s last blog post..Site Changes & Development with New WordPress Plug-Ins & Twitter

[Reply]
Jaren on March 20th, 2008 1:03 am

thanks Dex…

A cold pepsi may work wonders…

[Reply]
Dexter | Techathand.net on March 20th, 2008 1:09 am

Your welcome Jaren

Dexter | Techathand.net’s last blog post..Site Changes & Development with New WordPress Plug-Ins & Twitter

[Reply]
Jaren on March 20th, 2008 1:15 am

instead of alcohol… pepsi.. or maybe even… ohhhhh a Java Chip!

[Reply]