The ART of STALKING 101

Posted by Jaren
Posted on March 12, 2007
Filed Under Ramblings |

STALKER 101: The Art of Stalking
Dictionary.com meaning
stalker (stÃ´k)
to be stalked, stalkÂ·ing, stalks

To walk with a stiff, haughty, or angry gait: stalked off in a huff.

To move threateningly or menacingly.
To track prey or quarry.
To pursue by tracking stealthily.
To follow or observe (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement.
To go through (an area) in pursuit of prey or quarry.

Being a stalker is an easy thing to do, but it takes skill to be a good one. Besides that, being an elite stalker is the best move you can make.

You can be that annoying stalker that everyone knows but you can be a super ninja stalker; to tell you the truth stalkers are very, very sneaky and you wouldn’t be a true stalker if you told them your secrets, but if you take a look at a STALKERS lifestyles or their personal things you know true practitioners of The Art of Stalking are way, way different from the newbies. With these helpful tips, master the ART of Stalking

Welcome to STALKER 101 : the class is in session

Stalker Songs:

You can’t be a good stalker without your theme song, so get those papers and pens ready pull out you iPOD and get ready for the stalker hit charts.
Usually, stalker songs have an unusual criteria ; they have some codes, and a creepy feel that you’re watching him/her without him/her even knowing it!

To find out how, here are the Criterias

Stalker songs have these lines present:

“I’m watching you!”, “everywhere you go”, “I can’t get you out of my dream”, everywhere I look you’re always there”, “I wanna be with you”, I can’t live without you’”, “I can’t eat and I can’t sleep”, ‘hung up on you”

Stalker songs have this insane feel of loneliness and depression, seeping in the soul of the song itself. Like songs from coldplay, damn I hate that band! On the other hand, some songs have upbeat tunes to hide the depression and thus perfectly masking the stalker attitude to a POP hit : for example Edison Chen - Blue Skies and Savage Garden “I Miss you” and the list goes on:

Stalker songs have a theme :

obsession, depression, loneliness, borderline- friendship to more than that:

I’m compiling a list of songs that would make it to the Stalker Chart, if you have any contributions/comments tell me and I’ll gladly add it to my list (plus you get credit for contributing, minus the shiny plaque)!

Every STALKER Must-Have in their playlist:

A Little Bit - MYMP

Akin Ka Na Lang - Itchyworms
Ako’y Sayo At Ika’y Akin Lamang - First Circle
Alipin - Shamrock
Bakit Nga Ba Mahal Kita - Roselle Nava
Bat Di Mo Pagbigyan - King
Beer - Itchyworms
Constantly - Nina
OO - Up Dharma Down
Friend of Mine - Lea Salonga
Hinahanap-hanap Kita - Rivermaya
Kung Ako Na Lang Sana - Bituin Escalante
Lagi Mo Na Lang Ako Dinededma - Rocksteddy
Only You - Parokya Ni Edgar
Pagdating Ng Panahon - Aiza Siguerra
Pansinin mo - Juana
Run - Kitchie Nadal
This Guy’s In Love With You Pare - Parokya Ni Edgar
I Never Told You - Edison Chen
Blue Skies - Edison Chen
Rumors - Edison Chen
Tattooed On My Mind - D’Sound
Walking After You - Foo Fighters
I Miss you - Savage Garden
I Knew I Loved you - Savage Garden
When I’m Thinking about You - The Sundays
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
If You Only Knew - Gil & The Moffatts
I Wanna Be With You - Mandy Moore
It Might Be You - Stephen Bishop
Your House - Alanis Morissette
Uninvited - Alanis Morissette
The More You Ignore Me The Closer I get - Morrissey
The Closer I Get to You - Beyonce
Nothing is Impossible - Westlife
Obvious - Westlife
Until The End of Time - Westlife
Can’t Lose What You Never Had - Westlife
If You Were Mine - Boyzone
Just A Friend - Mario
I’ll Do Anything - Jason Mraz
Somewhere In Between - Lifehouse
Take Me Away - Lifehouse
For You I Will - Teddy Geiger
Follow you Down - Gin Blossoms
Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
Why - Avril Lavigne
For my Lover - Tracy Chapman
Wallflower - Caroline’s Spine
Is She Really Going Out With Him - Sugar Ray

Long Live The Loser Lifestyle!!!!

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Comments

10 Responses to “The ART of STALKING 101”

Janis on March 12th, 2007 1:44 pm

hahaha!!
Aylabbit!
I am a professional stalker.
I can give my insights on this (in which I already did…ha ha!!)
Go go!!
Stalk away!

[Reply]
TOXIC » For the Stalker in You… on March 14th, 2007 6:33 am

[...] Eherm. Here’s an interesting article about The ART of StalkingÂ written by my very own brother Ja! [...]
tintin on March 15th, 2007 12:24 pm

this is dedicated to people who are in love, nice concept about the art of stalking; great idea for it has theme songs, hehehe,
keep it up, more articles to come!!!!

[Reply]
Cecille Cudilla on March 20th, 2007 9:53 am

hahahaha…i suggest you add Kailan to your playlist…sung by teenage pop group Smokey Mountain!!!! it goes like this..
Kailan/Kailan mo ba mapapansin ang aking lihim/Kahit anong gawing lambing/Di mo pinapansinâ€.

[Reply]
gilmore de castro on March 21st, 2007 7:36 am

what’s up? i hope u r havin fun every single day.

[Reply]
rj on March 27th, 2007 8:45 am

cool! how’d u know all this? r u 1 of them?

[Reply]
killerj on April 2nd, 2007 6:08 pm

thanks for the comments and the songs suggestions.. i’ll try and listen to that songs and see if i can add it up to the list ok…

[Reply]
sugarfree on April 4th, 2007 1:29 am

wah. this is a family of professional stalkers

[Reply]
the QuickStop » Blog Archive » Art of STALKING 101.2 on April 4th, 2007 7:43 am

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