Filipino Movies : a weird observation from a coffee addict.

Posted by Jaren
Posted on April 28, 2007
Filed Under Ramblings |

sarcasm at it’s finest

As I was watching Filipino movies from the past to the present… there are something’s that made me think… damn Filipino film-making techniques haven’t changed. although some movies have a good story, but tends to ruined by the way it’s presented. hahaha who am I to speak.and you can still see the corniness and stupidity in these films. no offense to the writers, directors, producers, artists I’m not here to disgrace you in your chosen profession… but when summed up and rounded together, it produces a corny, hilarious movie, to be reviewed with joy with song and dance at the end of each film to show our heroes triumph over evil… hahaaa!! need I tell you more… then proceed..

A rundown of Filipino movies:

Filipino Action Movies

-They usually start with the hero being an ex-cop or an ex-convict that just got out from prison trying to find a new and better life for him and his family. No matter how hard he tries to stay away from his past it always comes back to haunt him and literally beat him to death.. in order to unleash his “bad side”. He knows who his is enemy is which is “good??”, maybe a friend from the past or a partner during his “criminal days” which he wants to forget. How come the villain always catches the hero in the middle or beginning of the film, but doesn’t kill him. It’s either he lets his henchmen beat him or locks him in room to let him miraculously escape. And how come our hero, which has a .38 caliber gun that comes with six bullets able to kill 30 fully-armed bad guys with automatic weapons… and come out of a gunfight with out a single scratch and still have 2-3 bullets to spare for his arch-enemy. Hahaha!!, a very hilarious action film indeed. the hero is always partnered with a geeky sidekick and very beautiful woman as his love interest. The hero can take all of the badguy’s punches and come out smiling but a slap from his girl and he’s like a shrimp being fried for dinner. The police always comes at the wrong timing, i mean for crap’s sake of artistic shit… they called the police hours ago, and they (police) don’t come until all of the bad guys are dead. Plus how come our hero, who doesn’t know how to hold a freaking gun, just practiced for a couple of hours be able to shoot the gun of the bad guy’s hand, plus the bad guys can’t shoot straight… man, talk about a villain who’s not only stupid but hires stupid people in his band of evil but merry men…dang, talk about luck, our hero is blessed and full of luck. On the plus side, the movie titles are always long and are the main topic of the movie. which if you have time to listen to the script. they always say the title of the movie somewhere in the movie… ahahha funny right. and the climax of the movie is always the showdown of the hero and villain, which is full of lines like they’re having a press conference or a debate on who’s going to be elected or shit… for crap’s sake… the moment you see each other, shoot quickly to end the movie quickly…

Filipino Drama and Romantic Movies
thanks to cutie and reiko for their valuable inputs

-movies like this tend to be over-dramatic and full over-acting shit. ok let’s start on romantic movies our hero, usually come from a poor family which strives hard to make a better life for him/her and the family he/she “lovingly supports”. hehehe! it’s always full of impossible struggles, for example like being kidnapped (our poor stupid hero) based on my observation from watching these kinds of films. It’s always about forbidden love one from a rich family and the other from the poor family, no matter how hard everyone tries to break the relationship, they stick together? I wonder does this happen in real-life, be practical… dude.. if a rich girl wound up with a poor boy. the bitch would definitely leave him for a cute and rich guy in 2 weeks time. plus who would cook for you. stupid hero fool… hahah!! only in the movies.. well loveteams always breakup and have a very nice fight at the middle of the story but always get together as if nothing happened in the end. usually the guy would always do the impossible just to win the heart of the girl… like standing in the rain… waiting outside her window… calling her from his cellphone (damn!! a poor guy who has lots of money to call her from his cellphone) at awkward times specially in the middle of the night… if you ask me it’s a bit creepy to be doing that. and on the happy part of it every movie always has a gay guy to be humiliated or abused, somehow there’s always a love team and their always doing something corny like running around the mango tree… like who the fuck runs under a mango tree? always chasing after a bus? and being afraid to cross a bridge… what so significant about crossing a freaking bridge… hehehe! what the fuck??
dramas always have a very loooooooong and boring story, have exaggerations, full of revenge, plastic surgeries to the point of madness. And the title of the movie usually comes from a song. which is kinda stupid and weird but funny at the same time.

Filipino Comedy

-movies that are funny at first due to it’s slapstick nature but always have a dose of action, drama rolled up into one epic film that’s fun for the whole family. From the title of the movie itself you already know the story and you can always listen what the actors/actress are going to say because sometime, somewhere in the movie he’s going to say the title… heheheh!!

Well that’s all I can say for now… I’ve burned up through coffee and I need another round to satisfy my coffee fix… hehehe… for another of this insanely wacky observations tune in next time… as I try my hand at criticism…hahahah!!

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Comments

4 Responses to “Filipino Movies : a weird observation from a coffee addict.”

Janis on April 30th, 2007 9:37 am

Don’t forget the “song & dance” part that is SOOOO big in the 80’s and early 90’s :))

[Reply]
An Opinion on Filipino Movies | the hollywood life [dot] net on March 24th, 2008 7:51 pm

[...] Filipino Movies : a weird observation from a coffee addict. [...]
filipino writers on June 5th, 2008 3:32 pm

[...] the writers, directors, producers, artists I??m not here to disgrace you in your chosen profession??http://jaren.cudilla.com/2007/04/28/filipino-movies-a-weird-observation-from-a-coffee-addict/Jose Garcia Villa: Filipino writers, their lives, their work …Biographical Reference: filipino [...]
maryherbel on August 4th, 2008 8:00 pm

that was great..but in trying your hand at criticism at its finest, try to justify every observation you made…otherwise, it will just be fruitless whining.

[Reply]